Series · 19 parts
Having Uncomfortable Conversations
Advance directives, caregiver burnout, a parent’s stories, a coworker’s loss: death doula Michael Hawley keeps finding the same missing piece under all of it, the conversation nobody modeled how to have. Start with why that silence costs so much, then go deep on advance care planning, caregiving and dementia grief, capturing family legacy, and building death literacy in your workplace and community.
Start reading →Begin anywhere · The Skill That Eases the Fear of Dying
19 partsHeal with Death39 min read
- Format
- Series
- Length
- 19 parts
- Reading time
- 39 min read
- Price
- Free to read
Parts · Read in Any Order
19 Parts.
Start Anywhere.
There is no order to these and nothing to finish. Read the one that matches the day you are having.Why the silence costs so much2 parts
The conversation underneath every decision on this list, and what it actually takes to have it.- The Skill That Eases the Fear of DyingTalking about death is a skill, a habit and a choice. A death doula on how practicing it eases the fear of dying, and how to start this week.4 min read
- How a Death Doula Helps You Actually Talk About DeathSome families love each other and still can't find the words. A death doula on how he steps in as a communication facilitator before a crisis does.2 min read
Advance care planning5 parts
The paperwork takes twenty minutes. Knowing what to put on it is the actual work.- Why Advance Care Planning Fails Without Real ConversationSigned advance directives fail when nobody talks about them. A death doula on the three parts of advance care planning and why the form is the easy one.3 min read
- Why Every Legal Adult Needs an ACP (Yes, Even in Your 20s)Advance care planning isn't an elderly person's document. A death doula on the CDC data showing why the youngest adults carry the most sudden risk.2 min read
- What Makes Life Worth Living? 5 Discovery Questions to Ask Before Writing Your ACPSkip the form until you've answered these. A death doula shares the five discovery questions he walks clients through before anyone touches a directive.2 min read
- Full Code vs. Quality of Life: What Are You Actually Asking For?Full code can mean broken ribs and odds far below what most people assume. A death doula on what the CPR data says and how to decide if it's right for you.2 min read
- How to Choose a Healthcare Proxy (And Why They Don't Make Decisions For You)A healthcare proxy isn't a power of attorney, and proxies guess wrong about one time in three. A death doula on how to choose one and prepare them.2 min read
Caregiver burnout5 parts
Resentment, exhaustion, and grief that starts long before a death.- The Unspoken Realities of Long-Term Caregiving: Resentment, Grief, and BurnoutCaregiver resentment and dementia grief are normal, not failures. A death doula on the data, the stacked-caregiving trap, and why caregivers need a plan too.3 min read
- "I Feel Resentful": Unpacking the Unspoken Emotion of Long-Term CaregivingCaregiver resentment is a predictable signal, not a flaw. A death doula on why it shows up when demand outpaces support and how to handle it honestly.2 min read
- Grieving in Installments: Why Dementia Loss Starts Long Before DeathWith dementia, you grieve at every loss of function, diagnosis or not. A death doula on his mother's decline and why most cases are never formally diagnosed.2 min read
- Don't Freak Out: How to Respond When a Dementia Patient Is ConfusedWhen someone with dementia says they don't know who they are, stay calm. A death doula on what to say and do, drawn from a real moment with his mother.2 min read
- Why Caregivers Need Their Own Advance Care Plan TooCaregivers plan every detail of someone else's death and skip their own. A death doula on why that's backwards and how to do it in ten-minute pieces.2 min read
Legacy & genealogy4 parts
The family storykeeper role every family has, whether or not anyone’s claimed it.- The Family Storykeeper: How to Capture Legacy Before It's LostFamily stories vanish faster than you think. A genealogist and death doula on why to start capturing them now, without waiting for a deathbed.2 min read
- How to Ask an Aging Relative About Their Life Without Making It AwkwardQuestions that ask about a life, not a death. A death doula's practical guide to getting aging parents and grandparents talking without it feeling morbid.2 min read
- The Family Storykeeper: Why Every Family Needs OneEvery family has someone who fields the "who was that?" calls. A death doula and genealogist on why to claim the storykeeper role on purpose.1 min read
- Reconnecting Gen Z and Youth to Family History in a Digital AgeTeenagers who ignore family history aren't uninterested, just early. A death doula and genealogist on timing, and how to be ready when the questions come.2 min read
Community & death literacy3 parts
Where this literacy actually gets built: the workplace and the death cafe.- Normalizing Death Literacy: How Honest Conversations Change How We LiveOnly 27 percent of Americans are comfortable discussing their own death. A death doula on death cafes, workplace grief, and getting out of your own way.2 min read
- Why Workplaces Need to Show Up for Grieving EmployeesFifty-one percent of grieving employees leave within a year. A death doula and former retail manager on what actually supports a grieving coworker.1 min read
- What Is a Death Cafe? (And Why Attending One Isn't Morbid)A death cafe is people talking about death over tea and cake. A death doula on where the model came from, how it works, and who should go.1 min read
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