Short answer: a bucket list for someone who is dying should be short, specific, and theirs, and the best ones are usually small and outdoors: one more sunrise, toes in the ocean, an afternoon in a garden, a meal outside with the people they love. Ask them what they want, check with their hospice or care team about what their body can handle, and plan for this week, not next season. The caveat: energy at the end of life is unpredictable. Have a bedside version of every wish ready in case going out isn't possible.
Here's how to build the list, a starter set of nature-based ideas, and how to bring each one indoors.
Start with a question, not a list
Don't hand them a list of ideas. Ask: "Is there anything you want to see, taste, hear or do again?" Then shut up and listen. The answer might not be "Machu Picchu." It might be "I want to sit in the backyard when the jasmine's out," or "I want to see the water."
If they can't answer, think about where they were happiest. The beach they drove to every summer. Their tomato plants. The park bench where they fed pigeons against every sign.
A few ground rules:
- It's their list. Not yours, not their kids', not Instagram's.
- Smaller is better. One wish done is worth ten planned.
- Ask the care team first. If they're on hospice, ask the nurse how to time an outing around medications and rest. Our guide to preparing for your own death covers the bigger planning picture.
A nature-based bucket list (and the bedside version of each)
One more sunrise
Going out: a hilltop, a beach, the end of the driveway. Bring blankets, a thermos, and a folding chair if they can sit.
At the bedside: move the bed so it faces the east window. Open the curtains before dawn. Wake them gently if they asked you to.
The ocean
Going out: in LA County, Beaches & Harbors lends free beach wheelchairs at select beaches during daylight hours. Only one location, the Dockweiler Youth Center, takes advance reservations; the others are first-come, first-served. You'll need ID and to sign a waiver. Call ahead, because details change. Outside LA, the California Coastal Commission keeps a statewide beach wheelchair list.
At the bedside: a jar of seawater and sand they can put their hands in. A recording of waves. Salt air from an open window if you're near the coast.
A garden visit
Going out: their own garden, a friend's, a public botanical garden. Ask about wheelchair-accessible paths before you go.
At the bedside: bring the garden in. A pot of herbs they can crush between their fingers. Fresh-cut flowers from their own yard. Our piece on plants at the deathbed goes deeper.
Rain, wind, weather
Going out: a covered porch in the rain.
At the bedside: crack the window. Let them hear it. This one costs nothing.
A meal outside
Going out: the taco truck they love, eaten in the car with the windows down. The park where the family used to picnic.
At the bedside: their favorite food, even if all they can manage is a taste. Ask the care team about swallowing safety first.
Animals
Going out: a farm visit, a dog beach, the bird feeder at a friend's house.
At the bedside: their own pet on the bed, if the care team says it's fine. A bird feeder outside the window.
When the wish is bigger
Some wishes need money or logistics you don't have. Dream Foundation is a national dream-granting organization for terminally ill adults living in the US or Puerto Rico. Its FAQ says the dream must come from the person who is ill, they must be able to communicate it and take part, and it looks at financial need. People with chronic illness qualify only with a prognosis of 12 months or less. Dreams can be small, like a dinner out with family. Apply early: the FAQ says processing takes about three weeks before verification even starts, though emergency requests (life expectancy of two months or less) are handled faster.
How to actually make it happen
- Pick one wish. The most doable, most wanted one.
- Plan the timing. Their best hours of the day, not yours.
- Pack for comfort. Blankets, water, medications, a pillow, a bag for the bad moment.
- Keep it short. Twenty perfect minutes beats a day of exhaustion.
- Have the bedside backup ready. If today's a no, bring the wish to them.
- Capture it, lightly. One photo, one voice memo. Then put the phone away. If they want to tell stories while you're out, our family storykeeper guide has ways to save them.
When there's no time left
Sometimes the list ends at one wish, or none. That's not failure. Sitting with someone, holding their hand and telling them about the sunrise you saw on the way over is a bucket list item too. If you're near the end, read how to sit vigil with someone who is dying, and see our nature-based end-of-life care toolbox for small ways to bring the outdoors in.