The Jewish Practice of Never Dying Alone: What a Shomer Does

In Judaism, no one dies alone. Not because family is always present, but because of a volunteer called a shomer — a guardian whose only job is to sit with the dying and the dead, so the soul never feels abandoned as it leaves the body.

Cory Hill has done this work for years. He doesn't have to say anything, or do anything. He has to be there — present, quiet, and steady — while one of the most profound things a human being can witness unfolds in front of him.

What Is a Shomer?

A shomer ("guardian," or "watcher") sits with the deceased from death until burial. The role can be filled by family or by a member of the chevra kadisha — the burial society — and it isn't reserved for clergy. Showing up to sit for even a few hours is itself considered an honor to the dead.

The Shema, Taharah, and Sitting Shiva

Three distinct practices carry the tradition through: the Shema, the central declaration of Jewish faith, recited at or near the moment of passing; taharah (sometimes transliterated taharim), the ritual washing and preparation of the body performed with deliberate gentleness by the chevra kadisha; and sitting Shiva, the week after burial when the community holds the family through the earliest grief.

Why the Body Is Never Left Alone

The belief underneath all of it: between death and burial, the soul is still in transition, and the body still deserves the respect it was owed in life. Leaving it unattended is treated as abandonment at the most vulnerable possible moment — so the role exists specifically so that never happens, to anyone, regardless of how alone they were in life.

His Mother’s Story

Cory shares his own: sitting with his dying mother, he told her it was okay to let go. She woke up furious at him the next morning — and passed that night. He doesn't offer it as a tidy lesson. It's simply what happened, and it's part of why he does this work.

Terminal Lucidity, and What Sitting With Death Removes

He also talks about terminal lucidity — the documented phenomenon of dying people, including those who've been unresponsive, becoming suddenly clear and present shortly before death. Whether or not it happens, a shomer is there for it. Cory says the practice has done something to his own fear of dying: given him, in his words, an inner smile. He closes with Tecumseh's line: "Sing your death song and die like a hero going home."